Monthly Archives: October 2014

Rejected Episodes of R.L. Stines “Goosebumps”

“The Girl Who Saw A Monster And Her Parents Absolutely Believed Her”

“We Did Not Investigate The Strange Sound In The Attic”

“Welcome To The Charming and Enjoyable Summer Camp, Part 1”

“The Vintage Radio That Played Existing AM Stations”

“The Neighbor Child Is Not A Ghost, Just An Introvert”

“Dad Is Certainly Not Conducting Potentially Hazardous Experiments In The Basement”

“Scary Movie Night Is Uneventful, Part 2”

“The Amusement Park That Was Well Lit and Properly Maintained”

“The New Teacher Is Inspiring”

“The Scarecrow Looks Normal And Is Protecting The Crops”

“Mom And Dad Checked This Babysitter’s References”

“Spookology Part 5: The Dentist Checkup Was OK, Even Though I Got A Cavity”

“Aunt Esther Is Simply Eccentric”

“The Videogame That Was Rated Appropriately For Children And Purchased On Amazon”

“Clowns Are Usually Pretty Nice Human People”

“The Day We Got Different Haircuts”

“Mom and Dad Attentively Supervise The Trip To The Halloween Mask Store”

“The Gypsies Who Scammed Grandma On A Roofing Job”

“Nobody Wants To Buy That Creepy Doll, Or Put It In Their Bedroom For That Matter”

“OK, We Admit It, We Actually Are Canadian”

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Eyeball Ghost and the Invisible Taco

Eyeball Ghost and the Invisible Taco

by

Brian Newlin

In a spooky old town, on a spooky old hill, in a spooky old house, there was a spooky old ghost named Eyeball Ghost.

One dark and gloomy day, Eyeball Ghost ventured out from his spooky old house to get a taco. Tacos were his favorite food in the whole wide world. He couldn’t wait to eat one.

“Hi, Eyeball Ghost!” a kid said as he floated down the street.

“BOOOO! Get out of my way! It’s time for tacos!” Eyeball Ghost replied. He didn’t have time to chit chat when the taco truck was waiting, full of yummy, tasty tacos.

Eyeball Ghost got to the taco truck and sighed. There was a sweet little old lady in front of him, also waiting for a taco. She smiled at Eyeball Ghost. Eyeball Ghost stuck his tongue out at her.

“Sorry, everyone, we only have two tacos left!” yelled the taco man inside the truck.

Eyeball Ghost looked at the last two tacos. He looked at the sweet little old lady.

“Look over there! Is that your kitty cat driving a firetruck?” exclaimed Eyeball Ghost.

“What? Captain Fluffybutt? Not again!” the sweet little old lady cried, looking around. Eyeball Ghost quickly jumped to the front of the line and took the last two tacos.

The sweet little old lady stared at Eyeball Ghost. Eyeball Ghost smiled at the sweet little old lady. Then, he swallowed both of the delicious tacos in one giant bite.

The sweet little old lady pointed at Eyeball Ghost and shook her sparkly, jangly bangles at him. She didn’t look so sweet now.

“Impatience and greed lead only to woe, now suffer the Curse of Invisible Taco!” the little old lady chanted.

“Ha ha ha, whatever.” laughed Eyeball Ghost, and he floated back home and went to sleep in his snuggly bed.

The next morning, Eyeball Ghost woke up, stretched his arms, yawned… and then he smelled something. Something yummy. Something familiar. Something taco-y.

“I smell a taco! Did I bring one home and forget about it?” wondered Eyeball Ghost. He got out of bed and looked around. He didn’t see a taco on his nightstand table.

“That’s weird. I know I can smell a delicious, yummy taco.” Eyeball Ghost muttered.

Eyeball Ghost looked under his bed. Nope, no taco there. He looked inside of his sock drawer. There wasn’t a taco in there either. Eyeball Ghost scratched his head and said, “Hmmm. It must be downstairs.”

Sniff. Sniff. SNIFF! Eyeball Ghost sniffed the air. “That taco must be in the kitchen, I’m sure of it.” He went into the kitchen, but didn’t see the taco on the counter. He opened the refrigerator, staring inside. He moved his grape sodas around. The taco wasn’t behind those either. Eyeball Ghost checked inside the spooky old cupboards and under the spooky old sink, but he couldn’t find a taco anywhere.

“This is really weird. I know there’s a taco around here somewhere.” grumbled Eyeball Ghost. He floated into the living room. The taco wasn’t on the table. It also wasn’t in between the sofa cushions, up the fireplace, or on the ceiling.

The delicious taco smell was getting stronger and stronger. “Why do you mock me, taco? Where are you? This really is the worst!” Eyeball Ghost wailed.

Eyeball Ghost thought for a moment. “Oh wait! Maybe the taco truck is outside!”

Eyeball Ghost opened up the door of his spooky old house. He saw a bunch of people standing on the street corner near the taco truck, laughing and eating. He floated over to them and couldn’t believe his eye.

People were munching and chomping… nothing! Eyeball Ghost could see them crunching, chewing, and swallowing, but he couldn’t see what they were eating. He peered into the taco truck, but he couldn’t see any yummy tacos in there either.

Then, Eyeball Ghost realized that all the tacos were… INVISIBLE.

“Ooooh. That’s what she meant,” sighed Eyeball Ghost. “I should have guessed.”

The sweet little old lady walked up to Eyeball Ghost and smiled. Eyeball Ghost tried to smile back, but he was too sad.

“Sorry, everyone, only two tacos left!” yelled the taco man. Eyeball Ghost looked. He was the first in line. “Hey buddy, are you going to order a taco or what?” asked the taco man.

Eyeball Ghost looked at the taco man. Then he looked at the sweet little old lady.

“Just one taco, please. This little old lady should get one too,” Eyeball Ghost said. “Sorry about yesterday. Everyone should share yummy tacos.”

The sweet little old lady smiled and said, “That’s very nice of you, Eyeball Ghost. Thank you.”

POOF! Suddenly, the tacos were no longer invisible. People were eating and smiling and sharing with each other. Eyeball Ghost finally understood the true meaning of tacos.

“Hah ha ha, whatever.” laughed the sweet little old lady, and they both swallowed their delicious tacos in one giant bite.

THE END

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Bed Boat

The Bed Boat

by

Brian Newlin

Bed boat! Bed boat! Let’s all make a bed boat!

Grab your blanket, a bunch of pillows, and jump onto the bed or couch. It’s time to make a bed boat!

You can make a bed boat by yourself or with your family. Don’t forget your pets! All aboard the bed boat!

Where will the bed boat take you? Down the mighty Mississippi River? Across the desert to a giant’s castle? Maybe to the moon? The bed boat can go anywhere!

Did you bring some snacks to eat in the bed boat? Pretzels, an apple, crackers, or carrots are great snacks on a bed boat! Soup is not a good idea.

You can dress up as whatever you like on the bed boat! A pirate, an astronaut, or 1972 Stanley Cup winner, hockey player Bobby Orr! Everyone can have fun on the bed boat!

Who is steering the bed boat? Not me! Quick! Grab the wheel! Don’t crash into that rock! Don’t fall over the waterfall! Look out for that dinosaur!

The bed boat is going through a tunnel. Quick, get under the covers! Did you remember to bring your flashlight? OK, good. Let’s tell a spooky story while the bed boat is in the cave.

“Once Upon a Time, there was a bed boat, and it was in a deep, dark cave, and then… a ghost grabbed your foot and said Boo!”

AAAAHH! Scary! Everyone out from under the covers! Whew! It sure does get warm in the bed boat!

Is that the telephone ringing? Is there someone knocking at the door? Sorry, they’ll have to wait, nobody can get off the bed boat! Unless you have to use the bathroom. Then, go ahead, the bed boat will wait here for you.

Oh no! The tv remote control is just out of reach? And your favourite show is on? Too bad! The alligators might get you if you step off of the bed boat!

It’s awfully comfy, all snuggled deep in the blankets and pillows, right? You might want to close your eyes and relax, just for a minute, here in the bed boat. That’s all right, go ahead.

The bed boat is soft and safe and warm. The bed boat is just floating away, down the river, across the desert, and past the moon.

We can all have fun in the bed boat.

We can all take a little nap in the bed boat.

See you again soon, bed boat.

THE END

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